Tuesday, December 18, 2012

Attracted to a man? Read this!

There are many crossdressers and crossdreamers who dream about having relationship with a man as an expression of their femininity. I would like to share my view point about this. If you have that fantasy, I would like to invite you to take a deeper look into yourself. 

Some of you are attracted to men because that boosts your self image as a woman. The thought of being in a relationship with a man (being his girlfriend or wife) pushes you into a peak feminine experience. So, you are easily able to imagine and accept yourself as a woman. Now, this is the bold statement I'd like to make - You are not attracted to that man, but you are attracted to your own image as a woman. Relationship with the man looks attractive, because the thought about such a relationship facilitates your feminine self image. Here, your love is not to the other person but it is directed towards yourself. To be precise, you love your feminine self image at that time.

Another struggling question is whether you are a gay or not. I'd like to put it this way (This is just my opinion). If your attraction falls into the above mentioned category, you are not necessarily a gay. Because your attraction here is just to your own self image and not to the man's physical features. Most crossdreamers have fantasies about having relationship with men, but they don't care how their fantasy hero looks like. So they aren't necessarily gays. But I agree that there could be crossdressers/crossdreamers who are actually attracted to the male physical features of the other man. This post is not about them.

Coming to my world, one of my crossdreaming fantasies was to imagine myself as a  wife! I used to dream of myself wearing a traditional Indian saree, ornaments etc and be a traditional, submissive Indian wife - Cooking food for my hubby, washing his cloths, being very polite and submissve to him always even when he scolds me, surrendering to him always and never challenging his ego. One extreme masochistic fantasy I had was that my man gets angry at me and slaps my beautiful face. Then I weep like a helpless woman covering my face, tears rolling over my cheeks.(Ah...that hurts. But I loved it!). Well...that's it. The core aspect of all of the above fantasies was my own experience of myself as a submissive, polite, obedient and helpless woman. Due to society's stereotyping, these qualities -submissiveness,politeness,obedience,helplessness etc appears to suit to women more than men, so if my own feminine self image has these qualities, then my feminine experience becomes stronger. So the deeper psychological intention behind my "Wife" fantasy is to boost my feminine self image. My attraction is to my own image as a wife. Not to the husband who comes in the dream.

I guess I have made my point. If you are a crossdresser or crossdreamer, and if you feel attracted to a man, do a deeper reflection. Chances are that your attraction is to your own feminine self image. At least some of you, in the surge of emotions, might interpret this as a deep love felt towards the man and you might even act upon getting into a relationship. I am not here to condemn doing that, but I'd like you to reflect upon this point before doing that.


1 comment:

  1. This is true. Some crossdreamers talk about their fantasy lover as a 'faceless man'.

    Deb xx